I dont get why they feel the need to be better than me. It pisses me off, cause really i could care less who is better.
It honestly dosent even matter. Its not a thing you can measure since everybody is different. So many differences that they possibly may add up to a number you cant even count high enough to. It just makes me feel like crap.... i already put myself down. So i don't need another person mentally saying, "I'm better than you." So maybe you are? does it really matter though? Apparently it makes you feel better.
Its like theyre in a competition, running a race, and im not even in it. yet they think i am? well im not. I'm just trying to look after me, even though i can barely do that all by myself. Its hard all the time for me, I never push myself.... and if you ever knew how frustrating that is, maybe you'd understand. All i do is tell myself im not good enough anyways so why the hell should i try? i shouldnt. i dont really appriciate people feeling sorry for me either. This is me.
Your probably wondering what brought me to write about this. Well just the arguments i have with myself..... that's kinda inspired me in a negative way to let this junk out. Its just i honeslty dont care if you think your better than me because you probably are. So anyways my writing is better right now cause the cold medicine is out of my system. (yay) that's an accomplishment. I feel let down i didnt go to soccer practice today. but who cares if im not the only one? i felt sick. i have a slight fever and congestion. Its irrational. Im not feeling well mentally, and physically. Im trying though. to be okay.....
man my stomach even hurts when i cough. whats wrong with that freaking picture?
so once again, no ones here to save me. Gotta be independant, and do this "ishhh" all on my own. Somehow thats not as appealing as it used to be. mwah ha. No. thats not funny. DUDE i smell brownies. ahhhh. Im kinda happy my mom lost her job! I havent had brownies in forever. have you?
OLD picture. from summer of 2008? this is my natural hair color. with the natural waves. ew.
well im watching "my life as liz" reruns.....and i actually really love this show. Somehow it relates to "my life as Kayla."
Which is actually a much sadder story. believe me. not nearly as.... fun. more like on the verge of "deathly boring"
and 4th period today...well we sang. All county is coming up.... and also the quartet competition thingy. anyways..... blah.... and while the altos sang we argued about twilight. I started screeching at melissa cause she hates edward. Mr.Faulk yelled at [me] although he didnt say my name..... he said something more along the lines of "i dont apppriciate teenage girls screeching to the top of their lungs in my classroom while im trying to teach."
WELL SORRY mr.Faulk im kinda sick and i cant exactly help screeching when im trying to talk assertively!!!!!!!!!!!! haha well it didnt exactly bother me. I was laughing too hard at the fact amanda and melissa and the whole room pointed AT me. Also i kinda fell out of my chair backwards cause i was leaning.... and ONCE again the whole room roared with laughter. It was very strange. I was kinda high and in a daze. i had no idea what was going on. As long as i didnt get hurt lmao im alive.... so its all good. i guess.
well im watching "my life as liz" reruns.....and i actually really love this show. Somehow it relates to "my life as Kayla."
Which is actually a much sadder story. believe me. not nearly as.... fun. more like on the verge of "deathly boring"
and 4th period today...well we sang. All county is coming up.... and also the quartet competition thingy. anyways..... blah.... and while the altos sang we argued about twilight. I started screeching at melissa cause she hates edward. Mr.Faulk yelled at [me] although he didnt say my name..... he said something more along the lines of "i dont apppriciate teenage girls screeching to the top of their lungs in my classroom while im trying to teach."
WELL SORRY mr.Faulk im kinda sick and i cant exactly help screeching when im trying to talk assertively!!!!!!!!!!!! haha well it didnt exactly bother me. I was laughing too hard at the fact amanda and melissa and the whole room pointed AT me. Also i kinda fell out of my chair backwards cause i was leaning.... and ONCE again the whole room roared with laughter. It was very strange. I was kinda high and in a daze. i had no idea what was going on. As long as i didnt get hurt lmao im alive.... so its all good. i guess.
LIFE IS COMPLICATED...... thats all for today folks, tune it next time.
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Comments
you sound like u're really going through something tough. It always pisses ME off when ppl compete with u when u aren't even in it in the very beginning, u get? But try to ignore them cause ppl like that aren't worth the time to even bother to look at. Just turn ur head the other way :DD like meh! bahahaha
I hope you feel better, life's not a bitch, it's "the" bitch :\\
xoxo
Stephy
Love your haters; they're your BIGGEST fans ;)
I've met lots of people like those who try so hard to show they're the best. But, I believe they're empty underneath those fake appearances.
I'm glad I read your blog, usually people just hype and leave. I love the fact that I learned a lot from you in these paragraphs.
You're a good writer. You should consider being an author.
I can see people put you down, everyone has someone out there who envys them. What really surprised me was the fact that you put yourself down.
I say, you're really beautiful weather you or anyone believes it.
You should just look harder and you'll see how gorgeous you are. Not to mention talented.
[:
DON'T LET PEOPLE PUT YOU DOWN.
Just smile and everything will turn out better.
Great blog. Keep up the good work<3
awwww
mariekballerina.....i have no idea who you are (cause this is piczo.)... lol but if i could hug you right now you would. haha! your comment made me feel so much better. and stephy i would hug you too because you are so RIGHT. life is definitely "the b!tch" haha well said my friend! your advice was very helpful as well. thank you so much.
all of you.
and mariekballerina..... i can honestly tell your a sweet person if you would take the time to comment and tell me im a good writer. that means so much to me. im glad you were able to learn a bit about me too. i will definitely return the favor :]
everybodys advice was amazing. i truly thank you!
to be honest. i actually really like ur natural hair :)
Lu
Hi cool blogg! luvve itt! www.miss--took.piczo.com