words cannot describe the deep despicable depise i feel for this person. And all in all.... it might not be that deep since i was for a fact friends with her. I know shes enjoying her new life. Shoot, i probably would too. She belongs there anyways.
She can get mad at me for writing this too, and yes il care. But this was just on my mind so.... i apologize.
and... there is so much more inside of me that im gonna try not to express. Honestly the only reason im super pissed is because i never get ANY thing i want. yes im whining about it. why shouldnt i?
I missed an audition thanks to my boyfriend.
Got cussed out by my dad, Thanks to my boyfriend.
Lost mom's money, thanks to my boyfriend.
Got cussed out by my 27 year old cousin, thanks to my boyfriend.
found out probably the only reason i drive 158 miles to see my boyfriend, is because i love him as my best friend.... and i little bit more than that, but basically im a loser who is loney as hell and he is the only guy wiling to kiss me.
Okay maybe hes not the ONLY guy willing to kiss me.... Its just hes the only one decent enough.
i have confidence problems, yes. im just so pissed.
i know im being pessimistic.... and im sorry. But when can LIFE give me a BREAK?!!!!
not to mention i refuse to ever go back to East Columbus High school. I am leaving columbus county forever. Im sick of it.
i want to go home.
so everybody have fun without me! i know THATS not gonna be hard. wooo.
will moving solve my life's problems? i have no idea but ive decided im gonna give it a shot.
Oh.my.God. I havent blogged....in just about FOREVER. (before you get all senile and hate me and cause a riot) let me explain.
Let me start with my so called "boyfriend." We have been dating for 18 days now. We are definitely not very New couple at all. It feels so familiar and theres nothing i dont know about us. Besides (yes we have problems.) But what im saying is....we are definitely missing the element of "new" because we ALREADY know each other so well. AS FOR KAYLA..... I'm the kinda person that thrives off of Mystery, new, and foreign things.
I actually hate a little too much of the same thing.
Is that bad?
Ive been away for two weeks sadly. No internet at all. No way of blogging. I am so sorry.
I have missed this place SO BAD. I was almost scared to come back cause i had been away so long!!!!! But i have a terrible amount of stuff to tell you all. Although i dont think its humanly possible to tell you everything... but i gotta start somewhere right?
I have missed this place SO BAD. I was almost scared to come back cause i had been away so long!!!!! But i have a terrible amount of stuff to tell you all. Although i dont think its humanly possible to tell you everything... but i gotta start somewhere right?
Let me start with my so called "boyfriend." We have been dating for 18 days now. We are definitely not very New couple at all. It feels so familiar and theres nothing i dont know about us. Besides (yes we have problems.) But what im saying is....we are definitely missing the element of "new" because we ALREADY know each other so well. AS FOR KAYLA..... I'm the kinda person that thrives off of Mystery, new, and foreign things.
I actually hate a little too much of the same thing.
Is that bad?
well in our case it might be. But he really is a great person... amazing actually. But he has alot of problems with his family. Who dosent? and me (loving him and all)
I try to help him....and i get cussed out. I'm realizing now, maybe its not my job to help him. or my place. So I told him im gonna try to back off. I'm a control freak at times, and its in my blood.
Also I'm not a leader at all, in any way so i have no idea where the control freak thing came from?
I try to help him....and i get cussed out. I'm realizing now, maybe its not my job to help him. or my place. So I told him im gonna try to back off. I'm a control freak at times, and its in my blood.
Also I'm not a leader at all, in any way so i have no idea where the control freak thing came from?
Anyways No. I didnt come here to talk about how much i love him, Or how perfect he is, or how hes my soulmate, or how i lose my mind every day that im not with him.
Because Honestly there are no way i can say these things.
Hes not perfect.
Because Honestly there are no way i can say these things.
Hes not perfect.
and i spend almost every single day without him. Yes it hurts....
but I'm not letting my guard down to let it hurt as much as it used to. I'm not going to be that person again, i refuse completely.
I love him i do. But sometimes..... is love not enough?
we had a really big fight these past 2 days. I dont understand, and yet....i do. Its SO freaking complicated!!!
I love him i do. But sometimes..... is love not enough?
we had a really big fight these past 2 days. I dont understand, and yet....i do. Its SO freaking complicated!!!
gah anyways enough about THAT. I wanted to tell you guys i love you. And hopefully you havent forgot about me, and hopefully you didnt assume i fell off planet earth? I hope not! haha, but how have you guys been? I cant wait to catch up. I have got alot to reading to do. :)
well I'm going to go for now.
Earlier i was eating blueberry angel food cake dessert for breakfast :D
YUM.
This is Isaiah. Sorry about the quality of this picture. Lol.
3 things i love the most about IJR ♥
1. His beautiful deep brown eyes <3
2. His voice which i love to death!
3. His hair.... i could run my fingers through that all day long! :)
and below here is a song that describes our relationship pretty darn well....
and its a lovely song too. full of heartbreaking passion. enjoyyyy
3 things i love the most about IJR ♥
1. His beautiful deep brown eyes <3
2. His voice which i love to death!
3. His hair.... i could run my fingers through that all day long! :)
and below here is a song that describes our relationship pretty darn well....
and its a lovely song too. full of heartbreaking passion. enjoyyyy
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boyfriend issues. .
budda BING! Kayla's back! finally!!!!!!!!! SORRY its been so freaking long. Ive been away from internet about a week. hich sucks, who the hell can live without internet? I CANNOT.
But i was spending time with my 73 year old grandmother. I dont think she quite knows what the internet is....
WOW....bless her heart.... shes missing out on the bomb freak fo SHIZZLE!!! lol.
Okay continuing, i also visited my lover. Although i had to lie to go see him. (i know im a horrible person) :(
But its the only way. If i ask my mom shel just say NO, so why shuould i even ask? its just not fair.
but i had the best time imaginable. He wasnt even my boyfriend then. Weve always been bestfriends.... although we have a huge past. YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE.... but thats gonna have to wait until the next blog :) il fill you in. Lol.
but I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!! i missed writing my thoughts and feelings alot. ive really been desperate too. il be here this week though. but next week i have to go visit my loverrr :)
yes long distance sucks.
6-12-10 ♥
But i was spending time with my 73 year old grandmother. I dont think she quite knows what the internet is....
WOW....bless her heart.... shes missing out on the bomb freak fo SHIZZLE!!! lol.
Okay continuing, i also visited my lover. Although i had to lie to go see him. (i know im a horrible person) :(
But its the only way. If i ask my mom shel just say NO, so why shuould i even ask? its just not fair.
but i had the best time imaginable. He wasnt even my boyfriend then. Weve always been bestfriends.... although we have a huge past. YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE.... but thats gonna have to wait until the next blog :) il fill you in. Lol.
but I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!! i missed writing my thoughts and feelings alot. ive really been desperate too. il be here this week though. but next week i have to go visit my loverrr :)
yes long distance sucks.
6-12-10 ♥
this meeee :)
from yesterday.... thanks to spending time with him outside, im TANNER for once in my life! (:
hell yeah!!!! i used to be albino lol. no lies.
from yesterday.... thanks to spending time with him outside, im TANNER for once in my life! (:
hell yeah!!!! i used to be albino lol. no lies.
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my loverrr.
I promise you. This time.... It really is the death of me. (Sorry i havent blogged in a while.... ive been..... well extroverted.)
Ive been in the state of wanting to be left ALONE
. Have you ever felt that way? I'm just SO confused about everything.
Mostly about me and what i want......
I feel like everything is on the line of which decision i make. I cant take the desicion back. It's going to effect who i am, and who i will be. DO YOU SEE HOW DANGEROUS THIS IS? Bloody Hell. (ive always wanted to use this! yay me!)
What do i do? What should come first?
Ive been in the state of wanting to be left ALONE
. Have you ever felt that way? I'm just SO confused about everything.
Mostly about me and what i want......
I feel like everything is on the line of which decision i make. I cant take the desicion back. It's going to effect who i am, and who i will be. DO YOU SEE HOW DANGEROUS THIS IS? Bloody Hell. (ive always wanted to use this! yay me!)
The decision to go back home to the people that i love.
OR the decision to stay where im at and DO what i love. (but no family, or boyfriend) I'm known better here. I've been in the musical, ive been in chorus. i know everyone... they know me.
But if i leave.... I'll have to start over. Be that scared little girl again. It wont be fair. I wont be me anymore. I'll have climb up a ladder to prove myself again. It sucks.....?
OR the decision to stay where im at and DO what i love. (but no family, or boyfriend) I'm known better here. I've been in the musical, ive been in chorus. i know everyone... they know me.
But if i leave.... I'll have to start over. Be that scared little girl again. It wont be fair. I wont be me anymore. I'll have climb up a ladder to prove myself again. It sucks.....?
What do i do? What should come first?
Family and the people that love me which includes a possible boyfriend. PLUS a new school.
Or.....
WHAT i love to do. (singing, acting, and my favorite teacher choral/theatre teacher.)PLUS people who know me.
although the second choice there is NO boyfriend.
i live two hours from the guy that loves me. Im given the opportunity to attend at his school. WIll that make me happier than singing normally does? I want both but i can only chose one.
Or.....
WHAT i love to do. (singing, acting, and my favorite teacher choral/theatre teacher.)PLUS people who know me.
although the second choice there is NO boyfriend.
i live two hours from the guy that loves me. Im given the opportunity to attend at his school. WIll that make me happier than singing normally does? I want both but i can only chose one.
I dont want to make life changing mistakes just because im a little lonely.
will someone PLEASE tell me WHAT THE bloody HELL to do?
Help me, please. i need it desperately. Im falling to pieces.
Why should a 16 year old girl be given the opportunity to make life changing decisions?
will someone PLEASE tell me WHAT THE bloody HELL to do?
Help me, please. i need it desperately. Im falling to pieces.
Why should a 16 year old girl be given the opportunity to make life changing decisions?
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help.
This is a really cool game. no questions asked. im gonna freaking play it!!! WOOO!
my gorgeous piczo wifey tagged me :) yayyyy! i gotta do this for the heck of my sanity.
http://niklamack.piczo.com/post/120259/?cr=3
Nicola is her name.^ check it out folks.
Rules of the Game:
RANDOM FACTS (; ♥
1) I am 16 years old and i live in America. I come from the southern side of the country, so i guess i would call myself a small town girl (even though i try my best to act like an uptown girl) bahahaha.... dosent work. I have a noticeable southern accent. :/ eeep.
2) I play guitar a little bit. But singing is my absolute EVERYTHING :) Dont try to tell me i cant cause i will prove you wrong. Im really shy.... AND i mean REALLY SHY... lol. but performing is dear to my heart. The stage is the best place in the world. Its the only truthful place ive ever known on planet earth. (hope i dont sound like a wierd obsessed addict...or something) lmao
3) I want chocolate cake REALLY bad right now.
4) Here is a deep dark secret of mine: (Ive only kissed one guy on the lips .....my whole life) is that sad? cause honestly im really embarrassed. lol.
5) I am not popular at school. But i dont really care.
6) I am 5/7 and a half. Im kinda tall.... Its annoying but whatever! uhmmm what else can i tell you? I love reading poetry. The secret is.... ive been reading it since i was little. I love the emotional aspects and doors it opens to other people. I believe poetry is insight to your soul. <3 Am i a deep person? yessssss.... lol hahahaha
okay here are the peeps im tagging.
HeyImstephy
HotvampireGodess
Theawesometaylor
my gorgeous piczo wifey tagged me :) yayyyy! i gotta do this for the heck of my sanity.
http://niklamack.piczo.com/post/120259/?cr=3
Nicola is her name.^ check it out folks.
Rules of the Game:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog.
3) Write six random things about yourself.
4) Tag three people at the end of your post and link to them.
5) Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6) Let the tagger know when your entry is upRANDOM FACTS (; ♥
1) I am 16 years old and i live in America. I come from the southern side of the country, so i guess i would call myself a small town girl (even though i try my best to act like an uptown girl) bahahaha.... dosent work. I have a noticeable southern accent. :/ eeep.
2) I play guitar a little bit. But singing is my absolute EVERYTHING :) Dont try to tell me i cant cause i will prove you wrong. Im really shy.... AND i mean REALLY SHY... lol. but performing is dear to my heart. The stage is the best place in the world. Its the only truthful place ive ever known on planet earth. (hope i dont sound like a wierd obsessed addict...or something) lmao
3) I want chocolate cake REALLY bad right now.
4) Here is a deep dark secret of mine: (Ive only kissed one guy on the lips .....my whole life) is that sad? cause honestly im really embarrassed. lol.
5) I am not popular at school. But i dont really care.
6) I am 5/7 and a half. Im kinda tall.... Its annoying but whatever! uhmmm what else can i tell you? I love reading poetry. The secret is.... ive been reading it since i was little. I love the emotional aspects and doors it opens to other people. I believe poetry is insight to your soul. <3 Am i a deep person? yessssss.... lol hahahaha
okay here are the peeps im tagging.
HeyImstephy
HotvampireGodess
Theawesometaylor
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